Monday, March 29, 2010

Some interesting facts about Azerbaijan

It is an emerging democracy with a benevolent and poetic leader Nezami Ganjavi who has ruled the country since independence in 1991. He speaks and writes in Persian but all Azeris still understand him.
Let's face it, no one knows anything about Azerbaijan other than that they love their minorities, especially the Azerbaijanis.
You see, at first Azerbaijan belonged to Iran. But then a few Azerbaijanis pissed off some Turkic tribes and they were all like "oh hell no bitch." So the Turkic tribes conquered Azerbaijan, forced their language on them and today the Azerdumbassbaijanis believe they are all real Turks from East Asia. Even today Azerbaijanis are all like "Wooo Turkish pride, our ancestors were killed and raped by the Turks but we love them all woooo!" Then some shit happened in the 19th century when Azerbaijan was ass-raped by the Russians and then again by the Soviets until 1918 when Azerbaijan's asshole was so widely gaped the Soviets were like "Screw this shit, it's like putting it in a exhaust pipe." So they gave them some fake country by the name of Azerbaijan. Note: at one point in time, Britain, Germany, Russia, China, Japan, India, and America were all a part of Azerbaijani Turk land, but due to Persian fascism, this is now not the case. Did you know Julius Caesar, Nikola Telsa, Alexander of Macedon, Lenin and Einstein were all Azerbaijani tUuRkz?
Azerbaijanis are the most newest people of the world. They came to Azerbaijan in 1918, 5000 years after the great Armenians came. Azerbaijan has not forgotten the crimes of Armenians from Dinosaurs to organizing separatist lectures at Harvard, and has promised to slap every single Armenian on their ass before they die prompting Paris Hilton, to become Paris Hiltonian and move to Azerbaijan by 2015.
Azerbaijan is a country never heard before 1918. due to a forgery by Armenian terrorists who have censored Xenophon's book about his travelings in Azerbaijan.
While the silkworm industry was important in the colourful past during the construction of the Silk Road, petroleum is the country's future with petro-dollars flowing like lava into the country. Dubbed the new Saudi Arabia by the Dubai Post newspaper, Azerbaijan is preparing to amend its constitution so that Ganjavi will become the country's King to emulate his Saudi counterpart.
Azerbaijan is the most tolerant state in the world, and often uses its army to plant potatoes in alleged Armenian cemeteries. The potatoes are to prevent the Armenian dead from separatist claims, which president Nezami Ganjavi thinks is the best way to find solution for a conflict between Glendale and Azerbaijanaijan.
Premium-quality tents are being ordered from the West so that its nomadic peoples can have luxurious housing thanks to the petro-dollars. For the city dwellers, urban planners from Belarus are being brought in so that Baku and the country's other major cities can rival the lovely post-Soviet architectural splendour of Minsk. For the managerial and political classes, comfortable villas are being built with the expertise of architects from California. Thus, Azerbaijan will be sharing its wealth with its population, in accordance with their true needs.
These are good times ahead for the people of Azerbaijan. However, Azerbaijan has the dubious honour of having the highest rate of evil geniuses per 100,000 residents, in the world. In fact it has twelve times as many evil geniuses per 100,000 people than any other country. The next highest being the Federated States of Micronesia.
Azerbaijan is quite a sucessful country, and is used in famous culture. For example, there's a book based on this country, Harry Potter and the prisoner of Azerbaijan.
Source: uncyclopedia

Day Opening - March 29

First day of Spring in Denmark.