Friday, July 10, 2009

Why I cook and women have to stay out the kitchen

1.) I cannot stand women in the kitchen;
2.) I cannot stand humans in the kitchen;
3.) Kitchen is a place to relax; no women allowed;
4.) Women do the dishes/dishwasher, me the cooking;
5.) Women love/do the shopping – it’s one of their born-with talents, me the cooking;
6.) Can you ask a woman to get you Arborio, Porcinis, Enokis, and Reggiano to make them a risotto? No, so then I go with them…
7.) Being the cook gets you a lot of attention, good quality attention;
8.) Being the cook means; you are the master of their physical well being of that evening, the following night and probably the day-after;
9.) Women think that they are the best cooks, what makes them so dangerous and therefore I had to do something;
10.) Women can cater, I can cook;
11.) When was the last time a women cooked you a real meal, a real piece of cuisine? Can you remember? No! When I cook for you will remember it a life time and beyond…
12.) Women cook out of necessity, I cook with pleasure.
13.) Typical women food is the staple dish, the a-la-pasta thing; not recognizable and over cooked food, I cook recognizable haute cuisine;
14.) Women are less inclined to experiment, a good cook, like me, dares to task risks…
15.) Besides being incapable of experimenting, they are useless at following written instructions for so called recipes. They are too quick blinded by series of numbers and symbols that they get confused and start adding more salt, pepper etc. I stick to by myself discovered and developed recipes.
16.) Cooking is multi-tasking, I am good in that (if a women drives and talk on the phone at the same time you bet she will cause an accident – think what will happen in the kitchen)
17.) Women see food as fuel, I am in love with food, that makes a difference in the kitchen…or not?
18.) Cooking means seducing don’t have to explain you what that means.
19.) There is nothing more relaxing after a diner seeing others cleaning the mess in the dining room and kitchen while I sip at my brandy and take a puff of my cigar…
20.) The ultimate reason why I cook? See picture above…

Hope you understand me better now...

Day Opening - July 10

An amazing reflection.
Picture by Joel Laverdure