Some interesting facts about the culture of The Glorious Democratic People's Republic of the United States of America

Stereotyping the USA'ers


Proud redneck in the morning...

The U.S. is a "united" commonwealth populated by Republicans and illegal immigrants. Americans claim that their nation is favored by God, an allegation God vehemently denies.
It is American to be fat, like junk food, ugly poofs. If you aren't American you should be proud of you're achievement. If you are American and not any of the others you are good at pretending.
Despite the relatively large geographic area, there are few museums or other repositories of culture and art to be found in the U.S. The government started the Library of Congress which quickly filled up with porn and Mad Magazines. The Smithsonian Institute is the U.S.'s most popular museum as it holds artifacts from old U.S. television shows. There is also a small museum of straws in Tennessee. The Southern United States keeps its heritage alive at the Great Library of Alexandria, and the Getty Museum in Los Angeles holds the U.S.'s collection of stolen works from other countries. There are no plans for any more collections that do not include toys from McDonald's happy meals.
Cultural activities for the average American typically involve ingesting huge quantities of Coke, which they are forced to drink cold--and it is a wonderful drink which proves how glorious and majestic America as.


The visitor is cautioned not to mention the name "Yu Es Ehy" to an inebriated American. "Yu Es Ehy" was a Chinese woman who is said to have had a mad affair with former American Rockstar John Lennon, thereby infuriating American senior citizens at large. They are often seen vehemently chanting her name at various sporting events. While, from an anthropological viewpoint, this display is fascinating to watch, it has also been known to be the cause of The Great 1927 Riot of Poughkeepsie, NY. The observer is cautioned to beware of his/her surroundings at all times, especially if they are of Chinese ancestry.

It is interesting to notice that people from United States of America call the country America, which is the name of the whole continent which the U.S. lies on. It proves that United Statesians (as they should properly be called) lack geographical knowledge, want to conquer the world, and/or are just a bunch of stupid fat ass Homer Simpsons and Michael Browns. Or Canada and Mexico are just so insignificant that the rest of the world allowed this.

And remember, being stupid is not a privilege. It is a right protected by the US Constitution Amendment of 1984.

Being a fat ass, however, is a privilege. The United Statesian Emperor has the power to revoke said privilege at any time, under USC 900.64; violators will be towed to the nearest detention camp at owner's expense.

It is often assumed that the denominations of Christianity in the U.S. make it the most common religion in the country. However, all "Americans" actually practice the "economic state turn personal and spiritual religious sacrifice" of "Capitalism." Most people follow this religion unaware that they are doing so (this is due to the overwhelmingly mandated need for $$$..) Nonetheless, the entire culture is gradually infected by the greed and over-consumption until the little green pieces of paper become the gross currency idol which symbolizes all the pestilential evils of the contemporary Roman Empire.

The country is ruled by a president who, by constitutional law, must be an old white landowning male, okay, until recently..
He holds supreme power in one hand and a mind control pill in the other.
As they have a carefully set up form of democracy where voting is not compulsory, most Americans will only vote if there's nothing good on TV. And with "quality" shows like Family Guy, American Idol, Punk'd and Flavor of Love, they won't be voting anytime soon.

This ability of voters to vote is called referendum, or ref for short. These refs closely monitor all competitions and carefully regulate what's allowed to be said and what's not. America has become an Oceania-like continent, in this respect.

America is not viewed as one of the world's finest contributions

On a real map of Norf Ameriker, America doesn't really exist.

Cultural diversity has had a huge role in the fostering of American society. Goths, typically garbed in no clothing with the orientation of "bi", make up for the most depressed 10% of society. The preps or jocks beat them up, which is reminiscent of American history. The Indians were persecuted because of their Hindu beliefs and bovine worshiping. When the Founding Fathers came over on the Union Pacific Railroad from Africa, they settled New York and formed an anti-Parisian legislature. They then began the slow and steady holocaust of the Indian folk, and pushed them west towards the Indian Ocean. Afterwards, they all had a Samuel L. Jackson beer, named for Samuel L. Jackson, the leader and proprietor of the Sons of Liberty, a hokey third generation partisan clan of feathered tar babies. He is mostly known for having had it with those motherfucking snakes on that motherfucking plane. World renowned historian Thomas Lunden quotes, "Sam Jackson was the drink of the day. After they rid the world of tea forever, they kicked back a cold one and make fun of all the stupid Tories."

Classic American pasttimes include 69, drinking beer, making teenage girls anorexic (then making them fat when they're older), shooting allies, and the the most boring sport in the world, lacrosse.

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