Saturday, December 13, 2008

Some interesting facts about the EU (3) - final


Flag of the Union of European Socialist Republics. This was decided upon once the EU members realized the Soviet Union hasn't existed for 17 years. (it includes Turkey as well)

Click here for Part 1

Click here for Part 2

Countries that just can't wait to become members;

Albania (No customs? Free drug trafficking WOOT! Sign me in!)
Bosnia and Herzegovina (We generally want to piss off the Serbians!!!!
Canada (Sees it as the only way to make English an official language in Quebec)
Croatia (We wanna join to prove them that we may someday secede!)
Israel (Jews under German rule worked so great the last time, right?)
Macedonia (We want everybody to know that we exist! ..and we hate all neighbours..)
Moldova (Uhm, what is this thing "money" you talk about?)
Montenegro (See Bosnia and Herzegovina.)
New Zealand (We are more English than England. Just ignore the map.)
Serbia (Argues that EU really is a part of Serbia. Unfortunatelly, they are already allied with Klingons.)
Turkey (We are Europeans! Chill out! You will see the truth when there is a döner kebap restaurant in every street. There is already? Hey, why the heck are we waiting for, then!)
Ukraine (We want the money! And no Russky gas!)
USSR (The opportunity for the next empire!)
The People's Republic of Cork (We want to piss of the Dubliners, like)
Transnistria (A wannabe state, in war with Ukraine, Moldova, Ghana and Milwaukee)
Mordor (They need love!)
Russia (As part of the project EUSSR (European United Soviet States of Russia))
Africa (The whole continent is in a recession, so it would be better to merge. EU wants low prices on safari, Africa wants in Paris)
Yugoslavia (Maybe it would make us a country again!)

Countries that just don't give a shit:

Norway (The fish is ours, the oil is ours and we're not stopping whaling just because the rest of the world says it's barbaric!) Plus they are sort of mad that the EU sold them to Svalbard so they don't even have a say in the matter anymore!
Iceland (Can't cooperate with any union that recognizes other languages than Icelandic)
Japan (If it moves, harpoon it! If it doesn't move, harpoon it 'til it does, then harpoon it anyway)
Switzerland (Why should we? We've got all your politicians crawling around in our bank vaults anyway...)
Sicily (It's none of your business, well technically we're not a country, but if we were it would still be none of your business.)
Greenland (We are to Canada what Canada is to the US. We need nothing else! We have been in the EU and don't recommend it, we're saying it to you Iceland.)
Liechtenstein (Can't agree with EU's Rubik's Cube standards)
Blueland (I'm blue, dabu-di-dabu-da, dabu-di-dabu-da.)
Armenia (Can't join 'em, beat 'em)
Coalition of Coriolis Force (We're a country?!?!? Since when?!?!?)

The End

Only for fun

Day Opening - December 13