The public schools in Cyprus embed the idea that Turks, American and the English are the worst people in the world and that the motherland Greece is perfect, into small Cypriot children. Once these kids grow up they take all the British exams and go to England to get a "good" education. The Church rules the whole island. They build large expensive churches with money from the common Cypriot, and then take more money form the stupid Cypriots that actually go to church. The coffee shops, so called kafenia also rule the island because no Cypriot can go without his/hers frappe or metrio. Which is Turkish coffee, but because the Cypriots are so much better than everyone they insist that they invented the Turkish coffee.
The Cyprus Armed Forces (National Guard)is universal to all, except: ethnic minorities, religious minorities, sexual minorities, medical minorities, plants, animals, transitional metals and women; It has over 1 troop, half a Fighter Jet, two grenades and a bunch of short range (fires up to 10 meters) missiles it purchased from Russia (URS-300) (which are actually stationed in Greece). This way, if the Turkeys, (whose standing army alone amounts to Cyprus's total population) actually come to finish off the job, Cypriots can surprise them and then of course claim their unrightful Hellenic Lands. (Note: Cyprus´ foreign policy plans include vetoing Turkey´s EU bid, and then closing it down and opening a Doner shop). Futhermore, the Cypriot army offers a variety of careers available for those that love danger. So, if you are brave enough you can serve the army as an EPY ( epeidi peinw, ypiretw - cause i'm hungry i serve ). EPYs have created quite a myth for their name over the years. It is said that the very first EPY was Chuck Norris himself, giving EPYs another reason to be proud. They are usually found near warehouses and gas stations arguing and shouting about "CHEEEEEEESE", the national guard's traditional work.