Thursday, November 20, 2008

Some interesting facts about Greek men and women

It is not uncommon for Greek men to refer to women as "anorgasmiki" (unable to have an orgasm) because Greek men can have an orgasm at any given moment and twice at no given moments.
Most women (and most men too) refer to (other) men as "malaka" (asshole, dick, jackass, wanker and also buddy, pal). It is cheesy, but becoming increasingly common, for women to use "malaka" to address other women. Studies haven't been conclusive but an increment in women's balls has been cited as a possible reason.

The typical Malakas driver throws bottles out of his vehicle's window without caring about a possible accident-inducing trajectory or environmental impact. The most appropriate word that describes this attitude is "Ellinaras" (big Greek jerk). This attitude doesn't necessary involve a vehicle. The "Ellinaras" will throw away anything available but useless to him/her wherever possible. Usually it is within 2-3 metres (6-9 feet for drunk Britons) from a designated area for that purpose (trash can, dump site, ashtray etc). In this context, this is the usual, short conversation between two smokers who cannot see the ashtray or bother to ask for one: "-So where's the ashtray? -Right underneath you jerk, the BIG one".

The Greek driver is always the best there is, whereas all the rest are just "malakes" (pl. of "malakas") and is an expert in fast driving, but only just. This can be verified by the geometric increase in the number of vehicle accidents every year, hence the favourite moto: "Going nowhere (but the tree) fast".

Greeks show a particular interest in social topics of the people they know, or don't, and they're masters in the art of Culture Making). The process is widely known as ξεκατίνιασμα (ksekatiniasma) in honour of the Greek actress Katina Paxinou, who is thought to be the first person ever to have collected and recorded the proper rules of conduct. After Pericles, of course.

There is also the race of "psonia" (bought off-ers). It is complicated but in basic principle it's the young people who believe they are better that everyone else and flaunt it. Similar (or better) to chavs. A psonara (the female) can be spotted on the streets of the rich suburb of Kiffisia with a bird's nest hair style, sipping on a Starbuck's frappuchino whereas a psonio (the male) is harder to spot. He has shoulder-length hair or hair-length shoulders, is gorgeous and knows it, very very loud and will hit on anything that moves. Of course, all Greek people use the term loosely for anyone who is annoying them at that moment. Just for the record, you are a psonio too.
Officially there is equality between the sexes, but women are actually paid less. About 40% of the Greek women are engaged in active employment despite their proper place being at home, taking care of the 'malaka'. Greek women are not liable for obligatory military service and they love it; more time spent in shopping! When divorcing, all belongings are equally split between man and woman as neither of them can come to any compromise.

Today a Greek woman may keep her maiden name when marrying and some do just to spite their husband. Greek women only give birth to half as many children, as they did before World War 2; this is probably a master plan of Zionists and Freemasons to reduce the number of Einsteins that have gained the monopoly in the world mind market and that caused many to argue and stop the exports. Arranged marriages are encouraged by law as is the payment of a dowry, so both actually apply but none will talk about it.

The average life expectancy for Greek women is 917 years. For men it's 80 because they can only stand the women for 80 years.
If you're bored/curious/hungry enough to enter a taverna alone, don't expect to be served in a long amount of time. In Greece it's very unlikely that someone eats alone. One is usually waiting for someone or else why leave the flat in the first place? For the waiter it will be very impolite to ask for the order before all the guests have arrived. Though this has changed in the major tourist places, and especially for tourists (who are ridicoulously easy to be spotted), but you can still find such behavior in villages most notably in the island of Crete and pretty much in most other islands.

In Greece you must adapt to GMT but in this case GMT stands (or often sits) for "Greek Mostly Time". The Greek people have a very different attitude to time. When the bus is scheduled to come 10:30 it will come between 10 and 11, depending on the traffic, how many people the driver has met and felt he should talk with, and many other small things. Or a local might tell you that the bus will arrive AFTER 4 pm! Then he hasn't promised too much. The Greek people don't live by the clock. The Greeks also have a different opinion about when it's morning, afternoon and evening. You say Good Morning until 12. If you have agreed to meet in the 'afternoon', the earliest meant by this will be 6:00 pm! In Greece, the evening meal begins no earlier than 9:00 pm. Also no one will think anything of it if you phone at 10.00pm at night.

However, 'siesta' time, between 3 pm and pm is held to be sacred. During a siesta, though, it is very unpopular (often bordering to dangerous and suicidal) to disturb someone. So it's not an oxymoron to hear loud shouts/screams/curses during siesta. These come from people who value this sacred time and they are addressed at the other 'malakes' who don't and who themselves engage in all sorts of activies which they cannot find another time but this to practice, such as drilling, hammering, furniture rearrangement, high-speed motorcycle drive-by's (no shooting though) etc.

Greeks enjoy the fine art of dance. If you tease them for it, they will promptly curse you out in Greek to show their intellectual superiority, then castrate and decapitate you, just to prove a point.

2 comments:

Geert Jan Keutelaer said...

I love these stories, now something about Turkey and the Turks please..))

Mert said...

Yes, curious about what will be written here about us, the Turks and Turkey.
Be nice please...)